Do you think you are no good at meditation?

Are you someone who perhaps quite likes a bit of quiet at the start and finish of your yoga class, but secretly thinks you are ‘no good’ at meditation?

Or perhaps you don’t come to yoga at all and have tried to meditate and think you are just no good at it?

This post is for you … read on!

(If you are someone who thinks being still is a waste of valuable time, or just more than impossibly hard, well stay with me - but you are probably not even reading anyway.)

Do you think your mind is just the sort of mind that never shuts up?

Perhaps you read my New Year blog and think well ‘inner wisdom’ is all very well for YOU, but I’m not sure I have any of that?

Don’t worry, I used to think I was pretty hopeless at it too. And a very long time ago I couldn’t even really see the point of meditation at all.

After all, the mind is built to create thoughts, and some of us have minds that do that oh so very well! And isn’t it good to have a mind? (Yes it is, the mind is a wonderful tool. But it doesn’t always serve us well, and it is fine to put it aside to get the benefits of meditation**.)

Let me tell you that meditation is definitely available to you.*

Oh are you feeling skeptical? You are different? 

Afterall you have so many things to worry about, plan, juggle, you have had all this crap in your life. It would be different if this hadn’t happened or that hadn’t happened or if that difficult person was a bit more reasonable or if you hadn’t suffered such hardships?  

Shockingly enough everyone has some crappy stuff to deal with, (yes it is true some would be construed as more crappy than others) and shockingly again in the big picture you are just not that special you know! And neither am ‘I’, yes it is shocking  isn’t it?

The thing is, it is the nature of the mind to create thoughts. That’s just what minds do. And we can’t really grasp meditation with the mind. We have to put the mind to one side, so to speak, to meditate. 

The good news is that there are TOOLS that are a bridge from an ordinary thinking mind state, to a meditative state.

So instead of just having to sit there and battle with thoughts, there are ways to lull the mind into a quieter state, so that it is easier for you to meditate.

These tools are concentration techniques, ways of focusing and steadying the mind. In Swami Shantananda’s wonderful 8 Steps to Stillness Learn to Meditate course (that she teaches in Blackburn South and I teach in Mt Waverley) we explore and practice a number of these tools. Things like breath focus, noticing body sensations, and mantra. Because we all learn differently, and have different preferences, we may find the technique that is best for us, but it is really good mental discipline to try them all. 

It requires discipline. But gentleness as well. There is a saying that in meditation you treat your mind like you would treat a small child. Be firm, but kind. And there’s another saying about meditation that I like too:

‘You can read all you like about meditation, but the benefit comes with the actual practice.’

There is something to be said about joining a group for meditation. The combined discipline and feel of the group can be wonderful incentive to keep up your practice when you are tempted to give up. Yes it is hard, in fact some people have told me that learning to meditate is the hardest thing they have ever done! But not one person has ever said that they are sorry that they learned the techniques, or that they didn’t get any benefits. Once you start, it definitely gets easier and before you know it you look forward to your meditation time.

So, if you want some tools and support, join a group or a class that practices still mind meditation. You won’t regret it. Or just find a spot and meditate. 20 minutes a day is a good way to start. Go on, do it!

Let me know how you go. 

*If you have a serious mental illness, check with your specialist before embarking on a meditation practice.

** Unless you have been hiding under a bushel, you will have heard some of the benefits of meditation. In no particular order, here’s just a few:

·          Reduced blood pressure

·          Reduced stress and therefore affects of the stress response in the body

·          Healing

·          Feelings of peace and calm and inner quiet and steadiness that eventually stay with you

·          Improved capacity to cope with the ups and downs of life

·          Feelings of centredness, connectedness and love

·          Ability to quietly observe without being drawn in to every drama

·          Fresh outlook on life (yes even the same old life)

·          Access to inner wisdom or intuition

·          Acceptance of self as individual within and as the whole

Here's a link about the 8 Steps to Stillness Learn to Meditate course and ongoing meditation at Waverley Yoga Studio: http://www.waverleyyoga.com.au/meditation.html

Here's the link to Swami Shantananada's Reflections: http://www.swamishantananda.com.au

On dealing with someone difficult

Ever had a difficult person in your life? Of course you have, I suppose you would be most unusual if you didn’t.

Sometimes we can walk away from those people who make us feel uncomfortable, or even worse, downright miserable. But suppose that isn’t a viable choice? Maybe it is a work colleague, or a family member, or someone who for whatever reason you have to keep seeing, what then?

There is a yogic practice called Dharana, it is one of Patanjali’s 8 limbs actually. (One of the practices Patanjali suggests we work with to help us to experience our natural state of Yoga, or Universal Consciousness, or Reality.) It has to do with focus and concentration, and a simple example would be when we stand in tree pose in the yoga room, where we use all our concentration and focus to balance.

But that’s not what I want to go on about here. I want to talk instead about a subset of Dharana called Bhavana. Having a difficult person in your life might be the perfect opportunity to practice a bhav.

That means trying out putting yourself into that person’s shoes and imagining what their life might be like.

Yes, spend some time in contemplation actually feeling what that person’s life might be like. The things that may have affected their outlook, the things that they do with their day, the people that they have in their life, and so on. Really mull it over and feel what it might be like to be that person.

Whenever I have done this I have come to the same conclusion, that we are all just doing our best to make our way in this world. We all have times where we make choices, and rather than judge someone’s choices as right or wrong, perhaps we can accept a situation with a bit more love and compassion.

Practicing a bhav may well help us to see that the difficult person has feelings of insecurity or inadequacy. 

For me, this brings feelings of compassion for that person who I may have been tempted to judge.

It doesn’t mean I condone people who are cruel, or bitchy and spiteful. It doesn’t mean I don’t feel hurt by cruelty and meanness. It doesn’t mean putting up with obviously harmful behaviour either. But it does open up a space in me to accept and be loving. It means I don’t have to bite back with a smart comment. It means I don’t have to withhold love. It means I can accept that person as they are. Perhaps they don’t seem quite so difficult.

After all, we are all perfectly human, perfectly divine, perfectly imperfect!

You might like to give it a go. I would love to hear back in the comments below.